RedJen's Rearview Mirror

I am part of a book club with a group of my friends and right now I am trying to fight my way through "The Crimson Petal and the White" by Michel Faber. Let me just say this book is HUGE! 800+ pages and not easy to read. The premise seems interesting, but the style in which it is written makes it hard for me to keep from gritting my teeth. Let me try to explain, its kind of like going to a movie that you've never seen, with your friend Joe. Joe has already seen the movie and absolutely LOVED it. All that Joe has been able to talk about for a week is this movie and how much you are going to love it. After all the hype, you are really looking forward to seeing the movie. You go to the movie with Joe, who proceeds to spend the entire movie saying "Oh, watch this, this is cool..." and "Look, look, did you see that? Were you watching?" The problem is that this annoying voice over never stops. If it were a person, I could tell them to shut up and let me watch for myself, but its a book and the author isn't around to yell at. If you like to figure things out on your own, this may not be the book for you. If however you like taking guided tours (instead of exploring on your own) and you like big words (or want to expand your Scrabble vocabulary), you may enjoy this book. Personally, I'd rather explore on my own and keep wishing I could find an abridged version of this book that drops the annoying color commentary or at least does it in such a way that doesn't tell me what I think. Now that I see it in writing, I realize what I dislike the most is that the "voice" in the book keeps telling me what I think, rather than letting me draw my own conclusions. Of all the things guaranteed to drive me crazy is to tell me what I think, rather than asking me for my opinion. So far, 241 pages down and almost 600 left to go.

Have you ever felt like you just had to say something, but didn't want to deal with fallout? From time to time I wonder why I feel like I have to censor the type of things I send to certain friends because I am afraid that I will be preached to. What makes this feel weird to me is that I don't want to preach to anyone, I just want to be able say "Yes, I'm pro life" without getting read the riot act. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I refuse to have a civilized discussion. What I'm saying is that I don't see the point of getting into a screaming match over beliefs, when neither of us is going to win. Its a belief, not a pep rally. The person who yells the loudest and longest does not get declared the winner.

I have friends that I would consider highly liberal in contrast to my own conservative opinions. I've come to the point where I think I'm tired of being willing to read the stories and information they send me, but not wanting to send things I come across to them, because I expect them to write back offended that I have sent them something they don't agree with. I'm not looking to offend anyone, at the same time, I don't want to censor myself to them. That's not fair to any of us. If I censor myself, I may save some short term angst, but in the long term, I'm not being completely myself and then we aren't being open with toward each other.

So why am I ranting about this? I have read about why it is hard to be an atheist in the world, especially in the military. I have read about how the Pledge of Allegiance is the great evil in our schools. I have read that standing for the American Flag is the equivalent of clubbing baby seals. I have read all of these things in an attempt to try and understand where my friends are coming from and rather than attempt to change their beliefs, I accept them as a part of what makes them my friend. Granted they are pieces of them that I can't relate to, but they are parts of them and if I am going to accept them, I have to accept all of them. I don't have to agree with their opinions and beliefs, but I have to accept their right to hold their own opinions and beliefs. Either that or I can't be their friend, I can be their acquaintance, but not their friend.

I guess I have to question why do I feel like I need to walk on egg shells to avoid a lecture, if I don't lecture when their opinions run counter to my own. Well, I do.

I sent the following to my friends earlier this week:
************************
Stop, before you read any of the rest of this, there are a few things you should be aware:

1. I am a Conservative
2. I am a Republican
3. I am a Roman Catholic
4. I knew before the election that the President of the United States is NOT elected by the people, but rather by the Electoral College. The people who moan that a majority of the people who voted in the last election did not vote for our current President obviously didn't pay attention in Civics or Government class in High School.
5. I am Pro-Life. If you aren't, I respect your right to have your own opinion. Please respect mine and don't try argue with me out of this, it won't work.
6. I am an idealist. I believe in the American dream, motherhood, baseball and apple pie.
7. I believe that the French government is acting like a petulant child. If it isn't their idea, they don't want to play and they don't want anyone else to play either. (See their threats to prevent inclusion to the EU by former Soviet states when they voiced support for the US and Britain against Iraq.)
8. I support the Boy Scouts of America.
9. I believe the best thing to come out of Sept. 11, 2001 is that people were not mocked or sneered at for showing pride in their country.
10. My brother is very likely to be activated soon to serve with the Marines.

If for any reason you feel like having an argument because of anything I have written so far, please stop reading this email and delete it immediately. I have no intention of having a flame war or arguing about what follows.

That being said, I received the following today that I thought worth passing on...

RedJen

I�ve recently been pulled into two projects in order to help the people originally assigned to them make sure they get done on time. I was told that my help was needed on the first one because the guy who was leading it was getting overwhelmed. This project just needs someone to make sure all the angles are covered and I can help him make sure that happens.

The second project was a rather big surprise. It was assigned to someone last November and has a deadline of 4/30. We found out last week that the developer assigned can�t finish in time. Add to that, the fact that they quite obviously didn�t think through the customer�s requirements and had yet to address a major data consistency issue. I wanted to reach out to smack him upside the head when he told me that he knew a guy who knew a guy who could run a report to get the data reconciled. The project is due next week and he still hadn�t thought about any of it. It�ll get done; I�ll make sure it gets done. There isn�t any other option, if we don�t deploy the tool, we won�t be on track to pass the audit. Not passing the audit is not an option.

On a happier note, I had a ball playing volleyball tonight. My serve was ON. I was able to start the game serving and managed to serve for 10 points before the other team managed to get a sideout. The bad news is they came back and we lost he game, but we did win the second game. I'm not fond of the concept of rally scoring for volleyball. It may be okay, but it isn't what I'm used to.

Disclaimer: I still like my job.

Work feel so much like chaos right now that it is driving me crazy. So much is in flux right now that while we have plenty to keep us busy, there is a complete lack of strong direction. Maybe it just appears that way from where I am and there is something I�m missing. I almost hope there is something I�m missing, but I�m afraid that I�m right. What�s really difficult is that the one piece of the situation that I can see a way to fix isn�t mine to fix and we are between managers, so the person I�d usually talk to about this isn�t available. Our last manager is trying to look out for us, but she�s swamped with her new department and trying to manage the fallout from getting ready for an internal audit.

I think my biggest frustration right now is that while I�m good in a crisis, I don�t see a reason why I should be in a crisis right now. That is not to say that I don�t believe that a crisis exists, only that I don�t feel like I�m being given the information I need in order to manage my own activities. Everything seems so disjoint right now. No matter what I can prepare for, things keep coming up that shouldn�t be surprises. Today I found out that one of the people who shares support duties for one of my projects is on vacation until next week. No big deal, except someone else is already on vacation and this means that the bulk of the support falls to me. I knew the first person was going to be gone and I was prepared for that. Unfortunately, part of that preparation was in knowing that I had the second person to fall back on if I got stumped. Now they are both gone and I�m back against a wall if a difficult support situation happens.

I need information!

I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job, I like my job

As of Monday, we are short at least three people for the work we are currently required to produce. As of Tuesday, I�ve been asked to size a new tool that they needed in May, but they didn�t identify until Monday. Not to mention that the development of this tool is supposed to be complete within 4 weeks. Well, it turns out, I can have this tool in 4 weeks, but I need an additional 4 resources to meet that date and there are two other people who we are forced to rely upon meeting their dates in order to meet ours. If they don�t meet their dates, our dates are immediately false and will be pushed out by an equal amount of time.

I am tired! I am tired of fighting! I need someone to be a champion for my team. We can�t push out any more work. We are all tired! We are now working well beyond 10% overtime consistently. We don�t have any room to push things around, we don�t have any leverage, and we are stretched so thin that we are only reacting to things. We don�t have anyone who is doing the job to look at the big picture and make sure people are getting their necessary downtime. There is no one to stem the influx of additional work. People say sure, they�ll do it�

If this doesn�t change, our aisle will be empty because we will all be rooming in the local mental ward.

Now I need a vacation for real. So I put together an accelerated schedule for the new project (due 6 weeks before it was mentioned) that gives them the function they need within the timeframe they need it. What do they decide to complain about? They complain about the fact that two of us, who have yet to take vacation this year, are planning vacation during the development cycle. Guess what, it doesn�t matter, in fact it is actually to their advantage because things have to be done in a certain order and the vacations fall at points where there wouldn�t be full time work for all the people. The thing is, there is NO way that they could get the full function tool they propose in four weeks. It wouldn�t be possible if we cancelled our vacations (which isn�t going to happen), there are too many variables that cannot be accounted for or controlled. That schedule would pretty much be guaranteed to fail before it began based on the past performance of the group we would have to rely on to meet specific dates. I�m not turning in a schedule that is impossible to meet. Of course the schedule I turned in has nice little caveats like: if a, b, c or d happen, then the schedule will be invalid.

Since I�m taking Thursday and Friday off this week to pick up my little sister, I guess I�ll have to see what falls out on Monday when I get back.

I AM NOT GOING TO WORK THIS WEEKEND!

I'm writing formal project plans and making people sign off on them before I let anyone start working on them. If I can't get management to protect us voluntarily, then I'm going to make it so that they have prior notice and if they decide at a later time to reallocate our people to other things, they will be doing so after signing off on something that says changing the assigned resources automatically makes the schedule invalid and puts the delivery date off the original schedule.

If they won't make decisions and stick with them, then I'm going to make them choose the consequences. I'm through playing nice.

So it evidently takes me getting fed up and frustrated to the point where I have an overwhelming need to wrestle control into place due to the lack of initiative by other people before I�ll get some respect. Great, I have to turn into a controlling bitch to get things done currently. That and evidently forcing people to sign off on plans before agreeing to take on new work isn�t anything new, but no one bothered to try and implement it, so the fact that I�ve taken it upon myself to make it get done isn�t that impressive, except that now I hold the key to making our upper management happy with the work I did on the side to protect myself. Hmm, guess who is not going to let someone else present my plan� That would be me. I don�t give a rats rear end that some other wonder boy was suddenly assigned to �bring order� to things, he has nothing to do with this and I�m not giving this up so he can look good. Heck, the last project he left while going along fine, had a HUGE mess in the code he was supposed to be developing himself. That code turned out to be the biggest mess of the entire project.

If they want to be in charge, fine, but I�m taking my toys and leaving. They can be in charge and fail at that point. I will not be giving them my work if that is what it takes. If they can go on for months without realizing they need the kind of planning that I saw within a week of being brought into this project, then they are lacking and I�m not going to prop them up without getting my share for fixing the problem.

I am woman, hear me roar!

Rugrat finished reading Harry Potter this morning, so now I have that temptation hanging over my head. It would be worse, but as a result of the actions by a morning radio show (which I am now boycotting), I already know which character is killed. Before I start reading, I�d like to not be miffed as a result of the actions of one rude and boorish individual.

I can understand being spiteful, but to inflict it upon who knows how many people just because you think it is funny is ridiculous. So rather than worry about being told the endings to movies that I plan to see and books that get publicity, I will no longer listen to that morning show.

Thank you for your spite, please stay out of my life!

TH and I have been exchanging email. I sent her one yesterday in response to her phone message. If you are interested in reading the soap opera, read on...

They are sealing the parking lot in my apartment complex and when I got up this morning to go to the gym, I found my car completely blocked in. Unfortunately, since I�m block in, this mean I can�t go into the office early today and get a jump on office things, but I�ll have to settle for cleaning up my email until one of the three cars boxing me in moves.

Sometimes random things add up to a result that comes straight out of left field.

For example:
* I was told about someone driving out to a friend�s house to change their oil, rather than go to the Jiffy Lube on the corner. (plus)
* I took my car to Jiffy Lube last Friday and had my oil changed. (plus)
* I�ve been doing a lot of internal searching and reading about feminine strength. (plus)
* It was raining today (well, it�s been raining for the past week or so). (equals)

So I looked out my bedroom window today, saw it was raining and watched a tow truck drive by. I looked down and saw my car and felt a sudden burst of anger. Now it is important to know that I wasn�t angry with anyone specific, I was just angry. And why was I angry? I was angry because I was never taught how to change the oil in my car. I can put more in, I can change a tire, but I don�t know how to change my oil. I do realize that it wouldn�t be that hard to learn how, that isn�t the issue. The issue was that I was taught to change a tire just in case I ever got stuck on the side of road. That seems like a good thing to know how to do and I completely understand that line of reasoning. So why did the simple car maintenance stop there? Don�t get me wrong, I was not clamoring to learn basic car maintenance. Is it assumed that girls won�t ever need to change their own oil? (In case anyone wonders, the answer is �Yes.�) So how would I manage to get my oil changed if I couldn�t afford to take my car to Jiffy Lube and pay someone else to change my oil? (Okay, so I�d probably end up teaching myself how to do it, but that�s beside the point.) My brothers know how to change their oil. I�m sure my dad showed them how to do it. Learning how to do it myself never came up when I lived at home. So why was I angry? I was angry at a society that assumes that girls will have someone else to change their oil. Don�t get me wrong, I have no interest in changing my own oil. I really appreciate being able to take my car to Jiffy Lube. They not only change my oil, but they also keep track of my transmission fluid, coolant, check my tire pressure and they always fill up my windshield washer fluid. I just think it would have been nice to have the option.

Warning, do not call GATOR spyware. Apparently it is officially called adware and is provided as a helpful and benevolent service to anyone how likes to see a large amount of adds appear on their computer screen.

What is the difference between spyware and adware? According to GATOR, adware is forthcoming about the fact that it will be installed on your computer and you have the option of not installing it or the application you wanted in the first place.

Evidently GATOR has taken it upon itself to start bringing defamation of character charges against companies that sell anti-spyware software and use the claim that their software removes the evil spyware called GATOR. TGC (The Gator Company) claims that people who install their software as part of another installation are doing so with the full knowledge of what they are doing. Because kids (and adults) read all the fine print they are presented with then they want to install a Peer-to-Peer client on their machine.

TGC says they are keeping important software free or at lower costs. Then they go on to explain that most of the software that includes GATOR is worth as much as $30. I would gladly pay the $30 dollars to someone if I never had to see another pop-up add when web browsing

Search Engine: Google
Search Information: mjm
Resulting unique URLs from the first 60 of 180,000 results containing MJM as the name of a unique business or group:

1. http://www.mjm.com/
   
2. http://mjmelectronic.com/
   
3. http://www.mjminc.com/
   
4. http://www.mjm.co.uk/
   
5. http://home.centurytel.net/~mjm/
   
6. http://www.mjmturbo.com/
   
7. http://www.mjmi.com/
   
8. http://www.mjm-engineering.com/
   
9. http://www.mjm.com.bb/
   
10. http://www.mjmnet.com/
    
11. http://www.mjmautoinnovations.com/
    
12. http://www.mjm-design.com/
    
13. http://www.mjm.qc.ca/
    
14. http://mjm-resources.com/
    
15. http://www.mjm.cz/
    
16. http://datarecovery.mjm.co.uk/
    
17. http://www.mjm-recruitment.co.uk/
    
18. http://www.go2mjm.com/
    
19. http://www.oldguns.co.uk/ (MJM Antiques)
    
20. http://www.mjmphoto.com/
    
21. http://www.mjmaustralia.com/
    
22. http://www.mjmmfg.com/
    
23. http://www.mjmsoft.com/
    
24. http://www.mjmspeakers.com/
    
25. http://www.mjmww.com/
    
26. http://www.mjmenergy.com/
    
27. http://www.mjm.org.ar/
    
28. http://www.mjm.net/
    
29. http://www.mjm.pl/
    
30. http://www.mjm-designerclothes.co.uk/
    
31. http://www.mjm.pt/
    
32. http://www.mjmresearch.com/
    
33. http://www.mjmfilmandvideo.com/
    
34. http://www.printable.com/success/mjm.htm/
    
35. http://www.mjm.bm/
    
36. http://mjminc.itctv.com/
    
37. http://www.mjm.com.sg/
    
38. http://members.aol.com/jorderic/mjmweddings.html
    
39. http://www.mjmtech.com/
    
40. http://www.mjm.co.kr/
    
41. http://www.lions-mjm.org/
    
42. http://www.mjm-media.de/
    
43. http://www.mjm-productions.com/
    
44. http://www.mjmelectric.coop/
    
45. http://www.mjm-design.nl/
    
46. http://www.mjmsounds.com/

So much for hitting a single Google response, now I'll never find the one we were looking for...

I had a wonderful realization today.

There are way too many people whose job it is to see that I work myself to death, I�ll call these people Them. We are currently negotiating how much work we will be expected to deliver by the end of January. The problem that we keep hitting is that the people writing our requirements (Them) are going to �die� unless we deliver all their requirements by the 31st of January. Our issue is that my team isn�t willing to work 80 hours a week to keep Them from dying. It comes down to the fact that we have 20 weeks worth of resources that can be used, but they�ll die without 30 weeks worth of requirements.

Add to their 30 hours worth of work, we also have about 10 hours worth of infrastructure work that we have to do or we won�t be able to continue support the tools in the future. So we have 40 hours of work that someone absolutely has to have or people will �die� for it being missing and we only have half that much time available in which to get actually do the work.

So the first thing we had to do was convince Them that without the infrastructure the things they wanted couldn�t be built. It was like going to build a house, but rather than laying the foundation first, they tried to insist that trim on the roof to be finished first. Hello, there are things we need before we get to the trim. It may be nice to know how big the building is going to be or what shape it is supposed to be when finished. Of course, to Them, we should just do the trim and worry about the rest later. Too bad we don�t want to redo the roof later because they won�t make up their mind on the unimportant things.

Hi, my name is RedJen and I have a passive aggressive manager. Unless there is a wider plot, he�s playing head games with more than just me. At first I thought it was just with the females of the group, but it looks like it is anyone here prior to his arrival is a target.

Favorite saying: �I don�t want anyone here, who doesn�t want to be here.�

He�s a very capable manager, especially when in a crisis situation, although I wonder if he ever gets out of crisis mode. He is also a �clock nazi�, meaning he is big on being in the office from 9 until 5:30 every day. I can understand wanting to make sure work is being done, but I have to wonder how effective that policy will be with this group. We tend to take our work home with us and work in the evenings or when the inspiration strikes us. If he�s going to insist on the 9 to 5:30 schedule, I have a feeling he�s going to lose a lot of work that people were doing, just out of spite.

He likes to infer a lot of things without actually having to say them, which drives me NUTS! Times like these the idea of moving to a remote location starts to sound like a good thing. The problem is that I�m rather fond of regular showers and hot water.

Thanks to the help of Necess1ty, I was rescued from the icy tundra of my driveway. There is nothing like being stuck and unable to get out on your own to make you appreciate the freedom of having your own car. Most of the ice has melted from my driveway and I was able to drive to the store after work today.

Apparently the Clue Fairy didn�t hit a few people hard enough yesterday. While we haven�t gone completely back to the beginning, there are definitely holes in the system. Did I mention that we still haven�t closed on the plan for January? At this point I�m hoping we�ll close on January before the Ides of March.

Today brought two amazing revelations to light.

The first sudden revelation was that if they plan on switching off the system for a week tomorrow afternoon, perhaps they should actually let the users know what is going on. So far they haven�t told the users yet. Suddenly they aren�t certain whether or not they�ll be able to get the administration work done to get the system shut down for a week in time to shut the system off tomorrow afternoon.

The second revelation was that no one has prepared to educate the users on the changes being made to the tools and processes. For some reason the requirement owners, the people to �own� the tools and the processes, seem to think that we, the developers, are going to educate their users on their processes. We�re developing these tools to support their processes, why the heck would we be educating their users?

Hello, is anyone home in there? We�re pushing just to get the coding done in time and we still have requirements that aren�t finalized. Does anyone have a calendar? Tomorrow is January 30th and I�m not working this weekend, I have plans on Saturday and I�m watching the Super Bowl on Sunday.

Don�t forget, this weekend is Super Bowl Sunday and I�m sure we have a lot of extra time to work between 5:00 pm today and 8:00 am on Monday�

Ten things you don�t want to hear, but were actually said at a meeting that started today at 3:00 pm, concerning a major release on Monday:

1. We haven�t identified who will be a part of the pilot program starting Monday.
   
2. We haven�t sent any notice to the users letting them know that the system will be down for the next week during the pilot.
   
3. Who is responsible for creating the distribution list of people who should be notified about the update? (Silence)
   
4. Has anyone told the admins that there is a pilot next week and the main system will be down? (The answer was �no�.)
   
5. We haven�t submitted a request to alter the system. We should do that soon, since the request requires two levels of approval.
   
6. Has anyone told the people in the pilot that any work they do in the pilot system is considered to be �trash data� and may be lost entirely? (More silence)
   
7. Who is responsible for finalizing these 2 requirements? (Excuse me, but could we get the requirements BEFORE the delivery date?)
   
8. Who is responsible for the data recovery plan in the event that there is any data corruption? (The answer was �we don�t expect any data corruption� to occur with the pilot.� Funny, but since we haven�t been able to test anything, I�m expecting bad data.)
   
9. Them: We need to make backup copies of the application data before we make any updates. Me: Isn�t that entire system on an automated backup schedule that runs nightly? Them: Yeah, but we aren�t sure it really works. The last time we tried to restore a backup, the data was corrupt and the recovery failed.
   
10. Do we have a back out plan? (Hi, isn�t it a little late to make these plans?)

As some people may have determined, I work for a large corporation. Today on the company�s HR (human resources) homepage was a link to Fortune magazine�s �50 Most Desirable MBA Employers.� Since I have friends who are interested in or working on MBA programs, it sounded interesting, so I went to check out the link. It�s a list, but that�s what I expected.

What I didn�t expect was one of the links I found above the list on the Fortune site. Above the 50 desired list was a link to �Generation Wrecked," written by Noshua Watson. (If you look at the article on the Fortune site, you can only see the first few paragraphs, but I found another copy of the same article, which is where my link points.) I�m a part of Generation X. In fact, I had just started college when they decided to start calling us Generation X. It was (and is) such an honor to be labeled as the slacker generation that no one knew what to call, so we become a letter. Apparently we didn�t even deserve an entire word, is it any wonder people didn�t know what to call us? Makes me wonder if anyone actually tried or just decided they were bored, so they called us "X". Anyway, the second paragraph says:

The insane deadline isn�t getting any better. The requirements are still changing. My BS tolerance is at an all time low. Today was a banner day for people named Chris. One wouldn�t go away and the other wouldn�t stop asking stupid questions.

My personal email is getting behind as I try to keep up with work. If all else fails, there will be resolution by Monday.

If you want me to hurry up and finish coding something, interrupting me every 20 minutes to ask for status does NOT help. I started just saying, �Out� when people walked into my cube.

For the record, I don�t have a TPS report and I�m not going to fill one out!

I�ve noticed that I�ve reacquired an old habit of expressing annoyance with people�s actions. This traditional expression is known as the eye roll. For most people, the eye roll is harmless and usually goes unnoticed. There are a few people who are vulnerable to the eye roll and take damage if exposed to it, much like Superman and Kryptonite. The eye roll translates roughly into �are you out of your mind�, �heaven help us all�, �chalk one more up to the idiot� or �this is why fish need bicycles�.

Ever since deciding to enjoy the humor in the insanity at work, the eye roll and the veiled eye roll have become more common. The most recent trigger for the eye roll happened yesterday.

The background � I went in to work on Tuesday and Wednesday with a fever. I looked sick, I was cranky and generally probably should have been at home sleeping, but went to work in order to take care of some things. Well, I went in to work cover my ass, because my manager and team lead haven�t exactly been consistent on watching out for their own people as of late. The phrase "hang them high and let them swing" would be more accurate in my opinion. Thursday, I stayed home sick and Friday I took the day off to sleep without guilt.

On Wednesday, I sent an email to our customer liaison detailing what I thought needed to happen prior to putting a new application into user pilot. And I quote: �Please determine the date on which the customer's team will begin piloting the application. Set up a working 1.5 hour meeting at least 2 days prior to that date for a pre-pilot run through.�

You know I was having a really nice day and feeling pretty good. I got some great feedback at work about the project I�ve put so much time into this year. I presented the tools I�ve developed to a group that is supposed to be a royal pain in the ass, only they were really positive and commented on how much they liked the way I had designed the tools. So far the users love to tools, they actually make part of their jobs easier and save them time. I have ONE open problem report and it is for an unsupported software platform.

I had a great workout at the gym. I WAS enjoying a quiet evening surfing the Internet, THEN I logged on to check my work email and found an email from my boss.

The tools have been out in production since Wednesday. We just haven�t told all the users about it yet, so it hasn�t had a bunch of uninformed and clueless users asking stupid questions. It�s called a controlled deployment.

The guy on my team who is responsible for making sure that our customers know what we are doing and we know what our customers need, sent our boss an email saying, "The net of this is that the code is in production and will be ready to be utilized on Monday. "

Go back and read that last sentence again, it�ll be important real soon.

I was planning on driving up to Virginia this weekend to visit on of the Bengal breeders, but I don�t think that�s going to happen now. Hey look, there�s something else I was looking forward to that now feels hollow. I�m trying to assume that my boss just doesn�t really read anything and that he isn�t a spiteful ass, but I�m not having a lot of luck with that right now.

I guess when it comes down to it, I just feel hollow. The thing is, I was feeling great yesterday (until about 10 PM). Not crazy out of control great, but happy with the effort I had put forth, happy with the results I was getting and generally more positive about work. Then "along comes Mary�" (Music reference circa 1965, Along Comes Mary, by the Association.)

So apparently I am now responsible for not only writing tools, I also have to do the job of the tool owners. We missed the ship date, because I didn�t push the send button. The button was there ALL day. I was under the impression that I wasn�t the one who was supposed to push the button. Is it my fault that no one else pushed the button? Is it the button�s fault for not pushing itself? Wait, the button used to push itself and they made me make it STOP.

Why did we miss the ship date? Well, we missed the ship date because once again this set of owners didn�t use what they had. I�m getting sick of people who scream that they need something, but once they have it don�t bother to use it.

Would someone please remove the "Kick Me" sign from my back? I'm black-and-blue all over. My bruises are getting bruises.

Okay, so here�s my latest question: If I was supposed to make sure everything got sent out to the users, why did they make undo the automation? I have no intention of babysitting the servers as they send email. The servers are perfectly capable of doing that on their own.

I have no intention of going through and checking 30k records to ensure that they are associated correctly. If the stupid users can�t fill out their own records, I�m not interested in preventing them from getting an annoying piece of email.

See the tool owners didn�t like the tool to just send mail without having someone look to make sure it was going to the right people. Of course the tool owners haven�t done jack shit as far as I can see. The only things they were responsible for were:

1. Writing the text to tell their customers what the tool was and what they as users were expected to do (Strike One),
2. Write up the help documentation (Strike two)
3. Find someone on their team to do the data administration, this is also known as pushing the button (strike three).

So now I�ve coded that piece twice AND I�ve won the door prize. Plus if they�d let me leave the code the way it was, all this would be moot, as the users would have gotten email last week when the servers sent it.

I�ve learned some disturbing things recently. One thing that has been confirmed is that I�m not crazy and my current boss has a pattern of targeting people to be replaced. That definitely comes as good news/bad news information. The good news is that I�m not imagining things and the bad news is that I appear to be a target.

The light of day has shown some of the drama to be a scare tactic. The way things were presented to me (and to certain people who care about how I'm being treated) are not how things are in reality. We've gone from step 1 (steal underpants) to step 3 (cause drama) and skipped a whole lot in between.

Before I was determined.

Now, I'm pissed

I had a very good meeting with my boss� boss. I have the impression that she really heard me and is not taking my issues lightly. I�m feeling a lot more positive, one of the things she did was remind me of a few things I can use to try and communicate. I�m falling asleep on my keyboard, so I�m going to sleep.

... and the horse you rode in on!

I'll get into it later...

As you may be able to guess, I�ve had an incredible week. If you buy that, I have a bridge for sale that you�ll love and I�m running a special on ocean front property in Arizona.

To make a miserable story short, I don�t fell at all guilty about taking some time this week to revamp my resume. But I�m supposed to feel good that since I�ve worked over 140 hours of overtime in April, it shows that I can contribute at a high level. For those keeping score: April has 4 weeks, a standard workweek is 40 hours and with 32.5 hours of over time per week, I probably could have earned the same wage per hour working at Taco Bell.

I suppose I was kidding myself to think that since we are in the middle of an audit, it was important to make sure things were documented and current. Silly me, there I went thinking again.

About a month ago, I had the feeling that I would probably be moving on to a different job. I should have gone with that, it would have meant more sleep over the last weeks. So now I have an open release date to look for other jobs inside the company. I�m interested to see who gets to pick up the list things I end up doing that I don�t get credit for every month. There are reports that have to be written and submitted, tools that the department has committed to support and from the discussion that I had today leads me to believe that the support projects aren�t even being considered. It is only the new projects that my boss seems to be concerned with ensuring someone else can take over.

I�m not sure what I�ll do. The idea of working for a smaller company is appealing right now. The thing is I�ve never really worked for a small to mid-sized company, so I�m not familiar with the culture. Right now, I don�t know much. I know that I�ll be making some choices over the next month, what they will be I�m not sure.

So yeah, I was biting my tongue today, when I really wanted to say was: �(Blank) you and the horse you rode in on!�

You know that nightmare where you are trying franticly to find someone/thing before something happens? I lived it last night.

Never tell a teenager that they may invite anyone they like to an event without strict guidelines. I assumed way too much awareness on her part, but since I didn�t spell things out this falls squarely on me. If I ever host something like this again, no one will be able to bring guests unless expressly cleared by me. To the outside world, it looked like a successful party. To me, it was one big cluster-fuck.

This will probably piss people off, but here�s the rub: I DON�T F-ING CARE!

Last night was NOT fun for me. It did have a few decent moments, but they don�t make up for the damage done. If I had yesterday to do again, the lights would be out, locks changed, doors locked and security system armed.

I can't understand what is so hard to comprehend about a simple chicken soft taco. I've actually yelled "Stop!" to the person behind the counter who after personally taking my order, during which I had to explain to them I wanted my chicken taco without the Ranchero crap they wanted to put on it.

I learned my lesson about assuming that the concept of a "old-fashioned" chicken taco was a simple concept. I ended up washing the Ranchero crap off of my taco one evening. Had I not been so hungry and at someone else's home, I'd have taken it back to Taco Bell...

Chicken soft taco = soft shell, chicken, lettuce & cheese. Four ingredients, why so hard?

By the way, a bean burrito without onions is a soft shell, beans & sauce. Only three in this one, does it really take a grade school graduate to comprehend such mysteries?

I feel inclined to reiterate a very specific fact about my Musings:

It is NOT about you!

This is about me and what goes on in my head. It has been a useful tool for me to track both occurrences and my own thoughts. This includes my frustrations, my perceptions, my low points, my middle points and the rare high point.

If you haven�t already, you should probably read my disclaimer page. If any of that is unclear, you can find further clarification at this online READ ME page.

Some sick idiots have released a video game based on the assassination of JFK on the 41st anniversary of his death. Is nothing worth any respect? The maker of the game claims it is a educational/documentary game that will help to debunk conspiracy theories connected to the shooting. I�ll buy that and any oceanfront property available in Arizona.

Perhaps someone should tell the principal that those ignorant of history are doomed to repeat it, although somehow I doubt she�d get the reference. Apparently the Declaration of Independence has been added to the list of banned books in certain schools in California. If this doesn�t smack of censorship, I don�t know what does.

Reuter's article

I don't know who you are from 66.221.193.1, but you suck and you can stay the heck out of my blog. By the way, this also means I've banned you from the NJS, Ultimate Rants and Ranting Virgo. Take your toys and go play alone!

Todays rant inspired by and found at The Ranting Virgo - You are in charge of your own happiness.

So I�ve been watching too much Comedy Central since I�ve been back from Ohio. Today there have been a bunch of commercials advertising free ring tones for your cellular phone. All you have to do is text message a specific phrase to this odd number with your cell phone.

Call me paranoid, but this sounds fishy to me. The ad includes a bunch of fine print on the screen and a reference to a website, so I went to Jamster's URL to see what type of terms of service they have posted. The terms of service are four pages long. I�ve found a few things in the terms of service with which I have issues...

When I think of entitlement, I don�t immediately think of subsidized housing. My first thoughts associated with entitlement are centered on the rich and over-privileged. In general, I�m anti-entitlement and to be honest, I may even agree with some of this on an ideological basis if not on an implementation level.

According to the New York Times, mandatory spending, which includes entitlement programs, accounts for a growing share of the budget, 49 percent in 1994 and 54 percent last year, and under current law the Congressional Budget Office says they will reach 58 percent by 2014. A legislative proposal drafted by the White House would make it more difficult for Congress to pass legislation increasing the "long-term unfunded obligations" of benefit programs like Social Security, Medicare, Civil Service retirement and disability, veterans disability compensation, health benefits for retired federal employees, housing assistance for low-income families, farm programs and Advanced Technology Program in the Commerce Department, which is spending $142 million this year to speed development of high-risk technologies in medicine, manufacturing, engineering, computer science and other fields.

(Put down the rock and take a step backwards.)

I�m having a hard time with this one. I�ll be honest, the fact that I hand over about 50% of what I earn bugs the hell out of me. I agree that there are things that we all need to contribute into so that we can have common services, but I�m not sure I like how my money gets spent. Roads, police, fire departments, schools all make sense to me. Once you get to the �extras� that�s where I have issues. Maybe if I were able to choose what things my money is spent upon, I�d be happier. At least when I give money to charities, I get to pick who is spending the money.

Imagine what the budgets would look like if people had to sell them to each member of the general public. Roads � fixed, schools � funded, crazy ball of twine posing as art � ignored.

So entitlement sucks, regardless of where people stand on the economic ladder. I�m all for helping people pick themselves up, as long as they want to get up and are willing to put forth effort to get into a better position. If someone isn�t interested in bettering their own situation, then I don�t think they have the right to be kept indefinitely. I don�t believe people should be given cash based on the number of kids they have. That only encourages people who can not support themselves to have children they can not afford. I wouldn�t be opposed to requiring people who get public assistance to submit to temporary sterilization as part of the qualification for public assistance.

Nothing is free, it�s about time that people learned that. People should be helped up, not encouraged to remain dependant. Dependence doesn�t help anyone.

In the 1980�s people ran up insane charges with 1-900 phone calls. No one could imagine that anyone would actually charge $5 a minute to talk on the phone. Well, people did and they still do. Now you can have these numbers blocked from your phone to avoid finding such charges on your bill.

In the early 1990�s, aggressive credit card companies took advantage of na�ve college students to lure students into credit card debt. Anyone who thinks that the credit card companies didn�t know what they were doing is kidding themselves. I was a college student and they flat out told students that it was okay that students didn�t have a real income, because the credit card company expected the parents to pay the credit card charges. If you didn�t have parents who would pay off your credit card, that was okay too, they�ll be happy to run up hundreds of dollars in charges for you to pay as soon as you have an income.

The new debt building gimmick aimed at the naive is disguised as a telephone. The cell phone is quickly creating a younger group of people with significant debt. Credit cards were aimed at very young adults, now the invisible fee monster is aimed at teenagers. At ten cents a message, text messaging is cheep, until you add it all up. Teenagers are building $500+ cell phone bills and when the bills arrive, no one knows how they got that high. Now you see commercials for services that will be happy to sell you customized ring tones, the charges will just be added to your existing cell phone bill. There�s nothing extra for you to do, according to their terms of use, if you use their service, you are enabling them to pass their charge directing to your cell phone bill.

The next step in helping people to build new fees into your cell phone bill is on the horizon. Work is underway to be able to use your cell phone to buy candy from the vending machine.

So many people are having to fight their way out of debt or declaring bankruptcy in record numbers. You�d think someone would realize that the only people getting ahead on these scams are the credit card companies. You can rest assured that the credit card companies are making money, they wouldn�t continue if they were losing money. They�ve spent plenty of time watching old gangster movies, they have the moves down and are great at putting the screws on the people who bet and lose.

If it has a per use or per minute fee, it is probably a bad idea.

JAMSTER has been added to my official list of things that suck. According to Dana, even looking to see their pricing will cause you to be charged.

JAMSTER/SPAMSTER/JAMSUCK!

Things that SUCK!

Turns out my former asshole boss (FAHB) isn�t done with his tricks. He�s continuing his slash and burn campaign through my old department. I�m sure it burns him to no end that I got away. To make matter worse, I�m having fun and doing a pretty good job where I�m at now.

Once upon a time, I had a boss (K) who wanted to micro-manage engineers who were used to working to deadlines and under their own without complete hands on attention after given general direction. At the time, she was the worse boss I�d had and until about 15 months ago, she was the one I measured bosses against to see how low on the scale they rated. At this point, my FAHB has dug a huge hole under where K used to represent and continues to dig. I had hoped that once I�d left he�d settle down and relax, but it appears that he may have stepped up his efforts to get rid of anyone in my former department who thinks independently. From what I�d heard, the people who are getting ahead are doing so by catering to his whims.

K wasn�t a bad person, in fact, I really enjoyed her. She was very interesting and in general I felt she was a worthwhile person. My FAHB tells uninteresting stories, laughs at people he fires, is a general user when it comes to the people who report to him and in my opinion isn�t worth the air he uses.

Trust me on this one, there�s no love lost�

I severly need to vent, but due to the nature of what I need to vent about, I can not do it here. Talk about sucking!

The way things are going, pretty soon only the dumbest and weakest will survive to adulthood. Today�s real news included the following important and urgent topics:

Children should not climb furniture!

Dangerous pieces of furniture include wardrobes (with and without mirrors), tall dressers and anything holding a television set where the distance from the television to the floor is greater than the width or depth of the furniture on which the television is located. Children have been known to risk the dangerous trek in order to acquire remote controls, toys, candy and to discover what has been placed out of their reach.

Suggested ways to avoid the dangers inherit in furniture include the following gems of insight:
* Do not allow children to climb bookcases or cupboards.
* Children should not be left alone around any piece of furniture that taller than their own eye level.
* Top heavy furniture should be loaded with the heaviest things close to the floor. (The actual example given for this suggestion is to place the heaviest books on the bottom of the bookshelf.)
* Top heavy furniture should not be used in children�s rooms.
* Children should not be sent to their room unattended.

The taskforce to raise awareness of the dangers of gravity is determined to educate parents on these hidden threats.

The makers of Coke, Pepsi and other carbonated beverages wish to increase the amount of soda purchased by shoppers. Not only have these criminal corporations spent millions of dollars to increase the brand recognition of their products, but they have brazenly included the calorie contents on the labels of these dangerous beverages.

The timely and shocking warning messages would include information on how soda pop can contribute to obesity and tooth decay. The messages would also include helpful suggestions to consider switching to diet soda, water or skim milk.

Man the bubble wrap, hold your breathe and don�t move. Breathing, water and gravity are dangerous to your health!

I’m afraid that the rampant strain of entitlement that seems to have infected the vast majority of people is leading to an outbreak of Socialism.

Children don’t pass or fail, they are all equally wonderful.
The medical system seems to be more socialized every year.

Now there is talk in North Carolina to make the cost of college dependant on personal wealth. This isn’t the student aid formula, where in-state student at college A have the same fees, this would actually scale the fees, so two kids who grow up as neighbors, have the same grades, scholarships and attend the same college will not have the same tuition costs.

Socialism has already fallen apart in Russia, can we please skip it here?

If I every find out who came up with the bright idea to use the actual sounds of someone grinding their teeth as part of an ad campaign for dental night-guards, I may end up in jail facing an assault and battery charge.

The sounds of fingernails on a chalkboard and forks across to bottom of a plate are both unpleasant. They both make me cringe and as an overall statement, really suck.

The sound of teeth grinding causes me physical pain. It makes me want to pound my head against hard objects to try and dislodge the throbbing pain that manifests at the sound.

According to my dentist, I do not actually grind my teeth, but I do clench my jaw very tightly, which causes strain on my teeth. Because of this, he’s been trying to get me to try a night-guard for the last 3 years. Over Christmas, I broke down and bought one to try from the drug store. It wasn’t too bad and my dentist was right about me clenching my teeth. I now have the dental impressions that support his statement.

So what’s the big deal? When my current night-guard wears out, I’m going to have to have one made by my dentist, because I REFUSE to give any more money to any company that would okay putting the sounds of teeth grinding on the radio.

The bitch loop has been revised and removed from circulation.

Transferred (finally!)

Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Current mood: cranky
12:46 AM

I really had no intention of ever using the blog feature in myspace, but due to god only knows what, I'm desperate and I need to vent.

I'm about ready to break something. I haven't posted on my personal site since the beginning of March. I had a bunch of personal stuff going on and I needed to deal with it. Lets sum things up by saying that public blogging was not the way to address anything that was going on. Now that I want to blog, my site is having technical issues.

So some things of note:

* Elisabeth & Beau's wedding went off with the planned hitch.
* Mosquitoes are more likely to bite you if you eat bananas. One of the guys on my team at work eats about 2 a day and I told him this fact. He didn't believe me, then it showed up the following weekend in the Sunday paper.
* Mark Thomas tells of his campaign against the Act which requires anyone wishing to protest near the Houses of Parliament to obtain a permit. (Had me laughing out loud at work.)

I think this guy uses whiteout on his monitor and has a broken drink holder on the computer too.

I've added a couple of comments, but for the most part, when I talk to tech support I rarely filter out what I'm thinking. This guy got me to the point where I needed to filter.

My own personal hell for Friday the 13th. The day started with an ATM that didn't work. Finding another makes me choose between having breakfast or being on time to an appointment. I skipped breakfast. After my appointment, I went out to my car and realized that I should have been late. The tires were fine, but there is now a scratch on the driver's side door and I found a piece of the side panel on the ground. From the scratch and the location of the piece, someone was in a hurry to leave. So whomever you are, thanks for nothing!

I suppose I could be more ticked off, but I'm going to wait until I find out what it is going to take to get it fixed. I do find it a bit unnerving that the panel piece "popped" off the side of the car. Granted I've been wondering whether I'll get a new place with a garage and keep my car or trade it in for a non-convertible, but I didn't think the car heard me.

The Pro Garage Arguement: 1) No weather between myself and the car 2) Car is less likely to be stolen, hit or vandalized in a garage 3) Other stuff can also be kept in with the car 4) I like my car 5) Less distance to travel in Rain and snow with groceries

The No Garage Arguement: 1) Places with garages tend to run about $30k more than ones without. 2) No garage would really make changing vehicles necessary. 3) I drive a convertible red sports car and the insurance on any other car would be a dramatic decrease.

From what I've seen, it may be easier to find a detached home with the size and configuration I'm looking for, but I'm done with exterior maintenance. Those are jobs I don't mind, but I don't like doing them by myself. I'd rather just default that chore to someone else at this point.

I wrote this the morning after we arrived in Scotland, but didn’t get around to posting it. Then I thought why let a good rant go to waste. Written August 31, 2007 at 6:45 am.

There is no point in me sending people email any more. They don’t read it anyway. This is my Monday:

Friday at 4 pm
Co-worker 1 – (Urgent voice mail) I need you to size this project before noon on Monday. I was hoping to talk with you today. I’ll be on vacation next week, but I’ll brief Co-worker 2 on what is going on and they will be pulling all the information together.

Monday morning
I find a 3 page pitch that I’m supposed to size, but didn’t include which units I’m suppose to use. I send seven specific questions to Co-worker 2 asking for them to find out if anything has been decided that will let me limit my sizing.

I get a call from Co-worker 2 (CW2):
CW2 – Do you have that sizing done?

Me – No, did you find the answers to any of the questions I sent you?

CW2 – No, I haven’t read any of my email today.

Me – Well, until I get some of those answers, I won’t be able to make an accurate sizing.

CW2 – (reading email) I don’t know who would be able to answer these questions.

Me – Have you looked at the Project’s foils?

CW2 – No, I really don’t know anything about this project and Co-worker 1 didn’t give me anything before he left.

Me – Why don’t you call the project’s Lead person?

CW2 – I don’t know who that is. Can’t you just use an old project?

Me – No, while the hardware for this project is based on an old project, it is for a completely different geography. The change in geography is what makes this need to be sized & why I need the questions I sent answered. Why don’t you ask the project lead for the project foils?

CW2 – Who would have those?

Me – (As I’m biting my tongue.) Let me see if I can find the project lead’s name. (Trying not to bang my head on my desk to induce a black out.) Call Person X, he’s the lead and should be able to get you at least some of the answers I need.

(Time passes & I get some actual work done, my manager calls for a quick chat about the same subject.)

Mgr – I saw the questions you raised, I think we need to assume that the worst case for this sizing. This group has a history of saying they want little things, getting approval and then asking for the moon.

Me – Good, I’d rather size what I expect them to want anyway.

Mgr – Thanks

(Time passes, with me doing nothing, expect working through lunch to get my normal list of things done)

CW2 – I haven’t been able to get the project foils, but Person X says this is a really small project. It is going to be so small and will only be offered in Geography 2.

Me – If you were able to talk to Person X, how are they doing to address any of the questions that I raised?

CW2 – He wasn’t sure, but assured me that it will be small.

Me – If they can’t answer any of my questions, I’m going to have to do a worst case scenario sizing.

CW2 – You don’t want to do that, it’ll look like this is going to make a lot of work.

Me – This is going to make a lot of work and not all of it will be for this team. This is going to cause extra work for just about every project we have.

CW2 – I think you should just size the initial work for this project.

Me – (Blink, blink) I’m not going to do that. It isn’t realistic. This isn’t a one time thing. Even if it doesn’t explode into having to provide world wide geography support, I already know that it is going to create more work than they want to admit and it will spill into other projects.

CW2 – If you won’t use their description of what will be affected, then at least list your assumptions. Then when you give your sizing, they’ll know why.

Me – (Now I’m fighting a new urge, the urge to say “duh”.) Have you contacted Group 2 and Group 3 about their sizing if this goes through?

CW2 – No, they’ll just be business as usual.

Me – No, they have no intention of doing anything with this project, but the project lead already requested they be involved. They told him that they can’t even size it if our group isn’t involved. They need to know what is going on.

CW2 – Can you call them and ask for their sizing?

Me – (Damn it, my glasses got in the way of my pen.) If you’re pulling this together, you should probably talk to them. I’ve forwarded what information I’ve gotten to Group 2 and we’ve discussed things in general.

CW2 – I’ll just note that the other groups will also need additional resources instead of calling.

Me – I think you should at least let them know that you are pulling together a sizing.

(We continue with the discussion of whether or not the other group should know about the current sizing effort that will directly affect their workload. I’m not sure if they followed through on it, but CW2 does eventually agree to call Group 2.)

Dear Verizon,

Please review you math and grammar rules. It appears that your marketing, sales, billing and service personnel are having trouble with these basic subjects.

Math – point zero two cents do not equal point zero two dollars.
Grammar – the words can and may imply choice, they do not mean the same thing as must, which implies a requirement.

RJ

Dear Potential Verizon Customer,

While I haven’t been lucky enough to run into the mathematics errors, the trials of the people who have are easily found. If you want to know how low the math skills have sunk in the business world Google .002 and Verizon.

My issue with Verizon is that the saying you “may or can” do something and saying you “must” do something are not the same thing. Also, when you go to a car dealership and take a Test Drive, there are certain things that you assume. The first thing I assume is that if I don’t like the car and I give it back to dealer, they are going to say thank you and we are done with our conversation. What I don’t expect is for the dealer to measure the gas tank and charge me for the fuel used.

So if you decide to take up Verizon on their Test Drive Program and you decide to give their car back; unless you transfer the number to another carrier they claim that you don’t qualify under the Test Drive Program. If you just cancel their service, they’ll say you are under their Worry Free Program. The difference between the two in my case amounted to almost a $100.00.

RJ