RedJen's Rearview Mirror

I feel dirty after laughing at this so much...

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I have a super power. It isn’t one that stops bullets, bad guys or runaway trains. I am the embodiment of a classic muse. I’m actually there (or at least there is evidence that I am), but my presence is quiet. You won’t see me at work, that’s just how it goes. You probably won’t even notice me unless someone points me out. I’m the one chastised for not speaking up and sharing with the class, only to shake my head and bite my tongue. Where you’ll miss me is when I’m somewhere else and little things don’t get done.

The fair folk had fun when they put me together. Any idea I wish to voice is masked until it is a random thought of someone else. When they happen upon it less than 2 minutes later, it is a great and wondrous thing. I bite my tongue, because to do otherwise seems silly. Even if I could replay the previous exchange, they will not want to hear. If I get frustrated and demand to be heard, I can look forward to be challenged for not speaking up. Thus I am caught between the devil and the sea.

I’ve learned ways to get my ideas heard, but to do that I must give them up first. There are some who can hear me. If I quietly whisper my thoughts to them and use their voice instead of my own, then I can inject ideas, but never be given the notice as the originator.

I am the cobbler elf who works unseen.
I am the whisper of a muse too quiet for most to hear.
I am credited with little, but blamed for much.
I am dismissed as irrelevant until demonized for daring not to be.

Here is a not-so-secret secret: my methods to force people to notice me when all else fails are passive aggressive. When I’ve beating my head against walls until I’ve given myself a migraine, I’ll react like a petulant child. I will take my ball and go watch from the side. At that point my attitude is that I’ll let you slip on the ice, trip on the branch and generally figure things out on your own. If you refuse to listen, then I’m not wasting any more effort talking.

Invisible in any medium

Someone reading my blog?

This week will be a short one as far as the office goes. A significant percentage of people will be taking advantage of the long Thanksgiving weekend to maximize on their vacation time. I however will be working. I plan to get some of the stuff that keeps getting put off finished and put away.

I'll be celebrating the holiday with my parents, Rugrat and maybe another friend or two, but I'm already done cooking for the big day. All that's left is to arrange for certain pieces to be reheated.

There is no point in me sending people email any more. They don’t read it anyway. This is my Monday:

Friday at 4 pm
Co-worker 1 – (Urgent voice mail) I need you to size this project before noon on Monday. I was hoping to talk with you today. I’ll be on vacation next week, but I’ll brief Co-worker 2 on what is going on and they will be pulling all the information together.

Monday morning
I find a 3 page pitch that I’m supposed to size, but didn’t include which units I’m suppose to use. I send seven specific questions to Co-worker 2 asking for them to find out if anything has been decided that will let me limit my sizing.

I get a call from Co-worker 2 (CW2):
CW2 – Do you have that sizing done?

Me – No, did you find the answers to any of the questions I sent you?

CW2 – No, I haven’t read any of my email today.

Me – Well, until I get some of those answers, I won’t be able to make an accurate sizing.

CW2 – (reading email) I don’t know who would be able to answer these questions.

Me – Have you looked at the Project’s foils?

CW2 – No, I really don’t know anything about this project and Co-worker 1 didn’t give me anything before he left.

Me – Why don’t you call the project’s Lead person?

CW2 – I don’t know who that is. Can’t you just use an old project?

Me – No, while the hardware for this project is based on an old project, it is for a completely different geography. The change in geography is what makes this need to be sized & why I need the questions I sent answered. Why don’t you ask the project lead for the project foils?

CW2 – Who would have those?

Me – (As I’m biting my tongue.) Let me see if I can find the project lead’s name. (Trying not to bang my head on my desk to induce a black out.) Call Person X, he’s the lead and should be able to get you at least some of the answers I need.

(Time passes & I get some actual work done, my manager calls for a quick chat about the same subject.)

Mgr – I saw the questions you raised, I think we need to assume that the worst case for this sizing. This group has a history of saying they want little things, getting approval and then asking for the moon.

Me – Good, I’d rather size what I expect them to want anyway.

Mgr – Thanks

(Time passes, with me doing nothing, expect working through lunch to get my normal list of things done)

CW2 – I haven’t been able to get the project foils, but Person X says this is a really small project. It is going to be so small and will only be offered in Geography 2.

Me – If you were able to talk to Person X, how are they doing to address any of the questions that I raised?

CW2 – He wasn’t sure, but assured me that it will be small.

Me – If they can’t answer any of my questions, I’m going to have to do a worst case scenario sizing.

CW2 – You don’t want to do that, it’ll look like this is going to make a lot of work.

Me – This is going to make a lot of work and not all of it will be for this team. This is going to cause extra work for just about every project we have.

CW2 – I think you should just size the initial work for this project.

Me – (Blink, blink) I’m not going to do that. It isn’t realistic. This isn’t a one time thing. Even if it doesn’t explode into having to provide world wide geography support, I already know that it is going to create more work than they want to admit and it will spill into other projects.

CW2 – If you won’t use their description of what will be affected, then at least list your assumptions. Then when you give your sizing, they’ll know why.

Me – (Now I’m fighting a new urge, the urge to say “duh”.) Have you contacted Group 2 and Group 3 about their sizing if this goes through?

CW2 – No, they’ll just be business as usual.

Me – No, they have no intention of doing anything with this project, but the project lead already requested they be involved. They told him that they can’t even size it if our group isn’t involved. They need to know what is going on.

CW2 – Can you call them and ask for their sizing?

Me – (Damn it, my glasses got in the way of my pen.) If you’re pulling this together, you should probably talk to them. I’ve forwarded what information I’ve gotten to Group 2 and we’ve discussed things in general.

CW2 – I’ll just note that the other groups will also need additional resources instead of calling.

Me – I think you should at least let them know that you are pulling together a sizing.

(We continue with the discussion of whether or not the other group should know about the current sizing effort that will directly affect their workload. I’m not sure if they followed through on it, but CW2 does eventually agree to call Group 2.)