RedJen's Rearview Mirror

Like I mentioned before, I'm not sure how well I'll be at keeping this up to date. My friend has used the The Friday Five site, so I'm going to follow her lead and see if this keeps me a little more up to date.

Do you like talking on the phone? Why or why not?
Sometimes. When I'm really close to someone and unable to spend time with them, it can be a nice connection. If I can have the same conversation in person, I'd rather do that. If it is something important, where I want to be sure to use exactly the right words, I'd rather write them out first.

Who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
Mark, a customer service supervisor from www.admission.com. I ordered tickets to Cirque du Soleil, but they canceled my order, so I had to call and get it fixed.

About how many telephones do you have at home?
Three plus my mobile phone.

Have you encountered anyone who has really bad phone manners? What happened?
Telemarketers how argue with me after I politely say "No, thank you." It is my opinion that telemarketers are people doing jobs, so as long as they follow the rules, I'm not going to be mean to them just because of their job is annoying to me. When they don't respect that I have the right to politely say "No", I want to scream at them and call their parentage into question...

Would you rather pick up the phone and call someone or write them an e-mail or a letter? Why or why not?
Usually I would rather write an email or IM the person. If I miss hearing their voice, I'd rather call and "feel" the connection. If I want to really express myself, I'll usually write or type out what I want to talk about in the form of an email, whether I would then call or send the email depends on the situation.

I am part of a book club with a group of my friends and right now I am trying to fight my way through "The Crimson Petal and the White" by Michel Faber. Let me just say this book is HUGE! 800+ pages and not easy to read. The premise seems interesting, but the style in which it is written makes it hard for me to keep from gritting my teeth. Let me try to explain, its kind of like going to a movie that you've never seen, with your friend Joe. Joe has already seen the movie and absolutely LOVED it. All that Joe has been able to talk about for a week is this movie and how much you are going to love it. After all the hype, you are really looking forward to seeing the movie. You go to the movie with Joe, who proceeds to spend the entire movie saying "Oh, watch this, this is cool..." and "Look, look, did you see that? Were you watching?" The problem is that this annoying voice over never stops. If it were a person, I could tell them to shut up and let me watch for myself, but its a book and the author isn't around to yell at. If you like to figure things out on your own, this may not be the book for you. If however you like taking guided tours (instead of exploring on your own) and you like big words (or want to expand your Scrabble vocabulary), you may enjoy this book. Personally, I'd rather explore on my own and keep wishing I could find an abridged version of this book that drops the annoying color commentary or at least does it in such a way that doesn't tell me what I think. Now that I see it in writing, I realize what I dislike the most is that the "voice" in the book keeps telling me what I think, rather than letting me draw my own conclusions. Of all the things guaranteed to drive me crazy is to tell me what I think, rather than asking me for my opinion. So far, 241 pages down and almost 600 left to go.

Things are coming into focus and all signs point to getting everything on track. The second half of last year was categorized by a lot of pressure without any clear direction at work. Which translates into lots of stress and very little outlet. I'm actually looking to change divisions at work. The company I work for acquired a company that makes tools that are along the same lines of what I've been doing for the last 5 years in an area that they are currently lacking expertise and are looking to expand into. Granted things have to settle down as they become acclimated to the new corporate culture, but once things settle I'm hoping to make that switch within the next 6 months. It's nice to have a goal that I know I can be successful at for my next career step. It beats the heck out of trying to figure out what I want to do next and wondering if I could even pull it off. As a person who thrives on positive reinforcement, last year was hell. I couldn't get any answers and as a result I kept second guessing myself, which was not good for my confidence.

I was talking to a friend last night. It was a bit of an eye opener. I knew that other people had been struggling with things last year, but I had realized just how broad it went. I also realized that I really curled up into a social fetal position. I knew that one of our other friends had considered moving closer to their family and I had assumed correctly that would be disturbing to people. When I said that I had seriously considered moving back to Ohio, my friend was visibly shaken. Of course if I had been more open about that when it was happening, I could have gotten the positive reinforcement that I was important enough for him to care that I'm here... Hindsight...

Have you ever felt like you just had to say something, but didn't want to deal with fallout? From time to time I wonder why I feel like I have to censor the type of things I send to certain friends because I am afraid that I will be preached to. What makes this feel weird to me is that I don't want to preach to anyone, I just want to be able say "Yes, I'm pro life" without getting read the riot act. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I refuse to have a civilized discussion. What I'm saying is that I don't see the point of getting into a screaming match over beliefs, when neither of us is going to win. Its a belief, not a pep rally. The person who yells the loudest and longest does not get declared the winner.

I have friends that I would consider highly liberal in contrast to my own conservative opinions. I've come to the point where I think I'm tired of being willing to read the stories and information they send me, but not wanting to send things I come across to them, because I expect them to write back offended that I have sent them something they don't agree with. I'm not looking to offend anyone, at the same time, I don't want to censor myself to them. That's not fair to any of us. If I censor myself, I may save some short term angst, but in the long term, I'm not being completely myself and then we aren't being open with toward each other.

So why am I ranting about this? I have read about why it is hard to be an atheist in the world, especially in the military. I have read about how the Pledge of Allegiance is the great evil in our schools. I have read that standing for the American Flag is the equivalent of clubbing baby seals. I have read all of these things in an attempt to try and understand where my friends are coming from and rather than attempt to change their beliefs, I accept them as a part of what makes them my friend. Granted they are pieces of them that I can't relate to, but they are parts of them and if I am going to accept them, I have to accept all of them. I don't have to agree with their opinions and beliefs, but I have to accept their right to hold their own opinions and beliefs. Either that or I can't be their friend, I can be their acquaintance, but not their friend.

I guess I have to question why do I feel like I need to walk on egg shells to avoid a lecture, if I don't lecture when their opinions run counter to my own. Well, I do.

I sent the following to my friends earlier this week:
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Stop, before you read any of the rest of this, there are a few things you should be aware:

1. I am a Conservative
2. I am a Republican
3. I am a Roman Catholic
4. I knew before the election that the President of the United States is NOT elected by the people, but rather by the Electoral College. The people who moan that a majority of the people who voted in the last election did not vote for our current President obviously didn't pay attention in Civics or Government class in High School.
5. I am Pro-Life. If you aren't, I respect your right to have your own opinion. Please respect mine and don't try argue with me out of this, it won't work.
6. I am an idealist. I believe in the American dream, motherhood, baseball and apple pie.
7. I believe that the French government is acting like a petulant child. If it isn't their idea, they don't want to play and they don't want anyone else to play either. (See their threats to prevent inclusion to the EU by former Soviet states when they voiced support for the US and Britain against Iraq.)
8. I support the Boy Scouts of America.
9. I believe the best thing to come out of Sept. 11, 2001 is that people were not mocked or sneered at for showing pride in their country.
10. My brother is very likely to be activated soon to serve with the Marines.

If for any reason you feel like having an argument because of anything I have written so far, please stop reading this email and delete it immediately. I have no intention of having a flame war or arguing about what follows.

That being said, I received the following today that I thought worth passing on...

RedJen