I’m not sure what types of planetary alignments are forming, but goodness gracious things are crazy all around. It’s like there’s something in the water, driving everyone nuts lately. Almost makes me wonder if people have been taking note lately of strong women and specifically targeting them for drama.
I probably should have mentioned this sooner, but it was just this week brought glaringly to the surface. Neither I, nor any of my close female friends are what could be considered a typical female. As such, we can’t always answer why women in general do certain things.
So Monday night I was asked what advice I would give to a younger male friend about how to attract a quality woman. As this is a topic ShaeSin and I have discussed at length in reference to our friends, I actually have a decent idea on this one. Regardless of everything else, if you want to be in a quality relationship, get yourself to a point where you can be a quality contributor yourself. The short form: have a job, be able to support yourself, be able to take care of yourself, take care of the important things and be real with yourself about who you are.
Shae’s convinced that we need to start looking at “older” men. Of course what she’s calling older, I’m calling just about right. Unfortunately, there seems to be a lack of single heterosexual men in their thirties who are also strong enough of character to take on any of us. I think we hit on the real issue the other day. We are looking at a very small selection on available men. In order for us to respect a man, he’s going to have to be strong in character, comfortable around strong women and self-sufficient. The down side for us is that the male pool that we are starting with is much smaller than the female pool that those same men have access to. While we would rarely consider the checkout guy at the grocery store as possible date material, our target male audience would probably not have the same reservations.
Times like this life would be easier if we were actually men. When we act aggressively, we are being bitches. When we act in a commanding manner, we are control freaks. Too bad our strengths get minimized and we get judged on things we can’t control. (grr)
Comments (2)
Having been a (happily) single female for most of my adult life, I concur with everything you and Shae have come up with regarding finding "gentlemen callers". It is incredibly hard to come across a quality man that doesn't have so much baggage he needs a union of airline workers to help him carry it.
You want a companion, not a crutch; an independent entity, not a mama's boy; a strong person who is complete in himself, not someone who is looking to you to define who he is.
And yes, I've been painted with that same "agressive and bitchy and control freak" brush that all assertive woman run into and yes, it is massively unfair. But I wouldn't trade it for the world.
So until that certain someone comes along that makes you want to take the time and effort at a relationship, I always found solace, joy, and comfort in my deep, abiding friendships. Still do, actually.
Posted by Feral Girl | October 3, 2003 10:34 AM
Posted on October 3, 2003 10:34
Last night I'm crawling around the grocery store at midnight in search of ice cream and Boone's Farm and Kati-Bug says, your love life is so dramatic ... I laughed, and said, currently my love life is you --- minus the sex. Funny but true these days. My female friends have been more supporting and fun to be around than all the men I've loved put together.
Posted by ShaeSin | October 5, 2003 12:00 PM
Posted on October 5, 2003 12:00